The polo grounds were vast, the swamp was gnarly, there was a wedding going on up the hill and the humidity was so thick you could taste it. Pan right: the Blue Sky Polo Grounds stretch out and we see our protagonists, the boys of summer themselves -- Big Wrench. It's their first tournament as a fully formed unit. Their first chance at glory, redemption, and making DH swim in the nasty creek. How would it all pan out? We shall see.
A late start on Saturday pitted them BW boys against John Doe, an upstart squad from the DC area who had just edged the Packdogs on universe point. Hungry to make a statement the Big Wrench D-line took the stage, and promptly stuffed a break into the basket. Oh yeah. That's nice. As the teams steadied themselves it became clear that this was to be an athletic shootout. Kevin "Trench" Sparacino -- perhaps the mostly aptly nicknamed member of the squad -- swiped a few athletic Ds from the handler spot, helping BW pile on the breaks, and an 8-5 score at half was the result. John Doe continued to threaten, with their athletic receivers making some standout catches, but patient handler movement from the offense and a stern diet of E-Hydrate amino acids helped the good guys pull out a 15-10 victory.
The second game of the abbreviated pool play session was against the Packdogs, who are a team of magicians that dress up like Brown alums. The biggest of wrenches were clearly confused, thinking that they were seeing familiar regional rivals (but how could it be!) and falling behind 5-2 on a series of blunders. A tactical timeout from captain Nick "DH" Adolph and a rousing huddle speech followed by a stern "HUZZAH!" was all it took to put the Wrench back on the path to success. The downfield defenders locked down and David Lyle and Lock Whitney ran the Packdogs into the ground on the turn. 8-6 BW at half.
The second game of the abbreviated pool play session was against the Packdogs, who are a team of magicians that dress up like Brown alums. The biggest of wrenches were clearly confused, thinking that they were seeing familiar regional rivals (but how could it be!) and falling behind 5-2 on a series of blunders. A tactical timeout from captain Nick "DH" Adolph and a rousing huddle speech followed by a stern "HUZZAH!" was all it took to put the Wrench back on the path to success. The downfield defenders locked down and David Lyle and Lock Whitney ran the Packdogs into the ground on the turn. 8-6 BW at half.
Photo by Paul Rutherford
As the half progressed the athletes came out to play and the summer heat brought tensions to a boiling point. Athletic bids and jump balls flew left and right, in some cases leading to gruesome collisions. The Wrench was strong, though, and as the going got tough, the tough got going. In other words, we got breaks and won. 15-11. Repeat praise of D-line handlers. Include praise of O-line handlers for throwing hammers. Muted praise to Ryan for not confusing which team he was playing for.
Photo by Paul Rutherford
The final game of the day was a placement game against Phoenix, and what one might call "a learning experience." The wRanch stormed out of the gates with 4 breaks and a commanding lead, before giving it all back and going into half down serve 8-7. Phoenix's athletic defenders never let up the pressure despite being down, and the BW O-line struggled time and time again to regain footing. The second half was more of the same, as Phoenix literally stopped our hometown heroes from scoring. Ye' gods the embarrassment and anger. But lo', the sound of a calculated cool-down huddle from Tyler Chan brings comfort back to the heart with Sunday on the horizon.
Photos by Paul Rutherford |
On Sunday Big Wrench took the field with love, pride and peanuts coarsing through their veins. They came out swinging against Stonefish -- fueled by the fire of 1,000 layout Ds by Jay Shnipes. Seriously, Tang got bookends twice in the first half. It was sick. Sam Zuckernik added on a ridiculous full extension layout grab on a huck from Tyler to bring it into half up 8-6. After consuming another solid .5 lbs of peanuts from the 5lb bag, our ragtag bunch put the peddle to the metal and broke, broke, broke into the Semifinals.
The Semifinals against Youngbloods should have been commentated by a soccer announcer. He would have had the calls of a lifetime when Pete Rogers skied a massive pile for an early break, when Funboy dropped in a 40-yard hammer for halftime, and when Trench place a perfect flick huck into DH's waiting arms. At one point the score was 14-3, showing that the GWrench were reaching a dangerous point of clicking. One slip-up gave a break back, but the 15-5 final was indicative of domination.
And just like that, it was time for the finals, and a rematch against our friends from the north, le Phoenix. This time the operators of the mythical beast that is @bigwrenchult promised to tweet at the correct team, and not the women's club from North Carolina (sorry ladies, didn't mean to flood your notifications).
The game was a heated one, as was expected. Both teams played tenacious, athletic defense, and ruthless offense. The game stayed on serve late into the first half, as Eric "Rickshaw" Shaw, Dan "Funboy" Forseter and Pat "PK" Kelsey anchored the Big Wrench O-line with a flexibility not unlike that friendly children's character, Gumby. We should nickname someone Gumby. Someone write that down. Anyways, back to the action.
With the half winding down, the Big Wrench D-line stacked up and capitalized off a deep pull and a huck miscommunication by Phoenix. Them D-line handlers got the job done with their patience and put the break in for an 8-6 lead.
The game was a heated one, as was expected. Both teams played tenacious, athletic defense, and ruthless offense. The game stayed on serve late into the first half, as Eric "Rickshaw" Shaw, Dan "Funboy" Forseter and Pat "PK" Kelsey anchored the Big Wrench O-line with a flexibility not unlike that friendly children's character, Gumby. We should nickname someone Gumby. Someone write that down. Anyways, back to the action.
With the half winding down, the Big Wrench D-line stacked up and capitalized off a deep pull and a huck miscommunication by Phoenix. Them D-line handlers got the job done with their patience and put the break in for an 8-6 lead.
The second half was a similarly exciting affair, as both teams struggled to be efficient on offense, but D-lines were unable to consistently hammer home the breaks. At 11-9 Pete Rogers made a freakishly athletic grab on an errant huck from Gene to give the BW D-line the disc on the goal line. A veteran timeout led to a sneaky little cut from Jesse Wolf and a monster break. Tempers flared as the game went on. Rickshaw saved a stall 9 blade with a 1-handed grab over two defenders. A sky D from Gene was turned over just as quickly, giving away a larger lead. At 13-12 Tyler Chan put glory above safety, going up huge over two Phoenixes and nearly getting burned in the process. One throw into the end zone after the massive sky and it was 14-12, game point for our boys. Despite a couple chances, Phoenix punched in the goal, putting the ball back in the O-lines hands. We turned, they turned. We turned, they turned. The crowd gasped. We turned again -- when would the horror end? Now, oh unfaithful ones! Tyler with a chest high layout block on our attacking goal line. Funboy with a scoober to Rickshaw and that was that.
Game. Wrench.
Game. Wrench.
As promised, DH swam in the creek, and we all celebrated the first Big Wrench tournament victory since Driftwood Huckfest 2014.
Now it's time to hunker down to some practices, try to survive Wildwood, and get better despite the brutal Somerville summer.
Some sources say we finished the peanuts. Some say we didn't. The truth is folklore.
Now it's time to hunker down to some practices, try to survive Wildwood, and get better despite the brutal Somerville summer.
Some sources say we finished the peanuts. Some say we didn't. The truth is folklore.